Quick! To the Hayloft!

[Buster]

One of my best friends from home, Noah, I still think is a virgin. In fact, I'm pretty sure of it. He's a cute guy: little, blonde, harmless, shy and very simple. He used to drive a beat up 68 Volkswagon Bus, which was really cool, even though he couldn't take it on the highway, which meant it took twice as long to get anywhere since he had to stick to backroads.

A lot of kids in highschool like to "follow" each other in their cars. To the poolhall. Or to the point. Or perhaps the other poolhall. However, Noah would always have to ride with someone, since he didn't stand a chance keeping up in the long line of "following" cars.

In 98, after 6 years, Noah finally sold the bus for his dream car. That's right. A white 88 Subaru Station Wagon. He loves that car. In fours years, I'm yet to ride in it....which sounds bad, until you add up all of my visits home, which is only 8 or 9. I stopped going home for both Thanksgiving and Christmas in 98, since it was way too taxing, not to mention my fear of flying is fierce....

Noah has had many girlfriends....cute girlfriends to be exact, however, he's never really gone too far with them. He's my age, 26, but I'm afraid is getting somewhat desperate (lonely), although he'd never admit it to me. It's weird only seeing him twice a year, because without my over-obsessing peer pressure to get laid, I'm afraid he never will. Wait, I don't really mean "get laid"- he's not that type of guy. He needs an experience....preferably with a woman....and of the sexual kind.

He now lives alone in a 3 bedroom house. Works at a camera shop developing film. Bikes 2 hours a day. Cooks vegatables nightly. And is a really good photographer. He doesn't smoke but likes to giggle and like I said, needs a girlfriend. If anyone knows any single, cool girl, mid-to-late 20s, who lives in Chattanooga, TN, then, by-all-means, send her email address along to me, and I'll make sure he writes her.

It was pointed out to me this week that I type this alot:..............

I can't help it...I do it automatically, and I'll never change, ever, so there....

Man, five paragraphs about Noah, and nothing about Buster. And now, I'm too tired. Maybe later.....

Toes in the pool....

[Buster]

I know I brought up Noah first, but Aaron is my real best friend. I've known him since I was 7 or 8, but didn't really become friends with him until we both transfered from our local elementry school to this new start-up magnet school in the 6th grade.

We lived about two blocks away from each other, "over the hill" as we called it, which caused for a lot of mischief growing up.

My first true memory of Aaron is in the 5th grade, when, sadly enough, his house burned down on Christmas day. His sister is hot, damn hot, and apparently, this neighborhood kid had such a crush on her that he burned their house down. I mean, to the ground.

When school began again in Janurary, I went up to Aaron in the hall, and instead of saying, "hey, sorry about your house", I said, "Hey Aaron, I like your house just the way it is. Nice and Crisp." He's never forgiven me for that.

Aaron though, is an awesome guy. Nerdy, geeky, really inverted and non-social....but kind-of cute, and really easy-going. He is the exact opposite of Noah as far as women go....despite his shyness and weirdness when it comes to social situations.

At the age of 14, I had already been to second base with many girls...well not many...let's say 2. That's a lot for a 14 year old back in 1990 (or whenever it was)....Aaron, when we were 13 and 14, always looked up to me...and when we'd get drunk on CISCO at his house every weekend, he would always end up asking me what a girl's breast felt like. I think I told him it felt like a firm yet soft pillow with skin all around it, and a nipple on top.

AND YET-----he surpassed me TEN FOLD, one day in March, our sophmore year....

He had been exchanging notes with this girl, Alice, in art class since October---and over time, these notes became more and more sexual, i guess. Eventually Aaron worked up enough courage to basically write a note that just said:

HEY, LET'S DO IT AFTER SCHOOL.

To his amazement, she said yes, so they did. BUT, they just didn't go behind the bleachers, or into some closet....They went across the street from the school, to the biggest hospital in Chattanooga. I walked over with them and then left them to wait in the food court. I had a personal pan pizza. They then wandered the halls until they found a vacant dressing room. Then they did it....for 15 solid minutes. Aaron then said, "see ya later"..and came and found me...

I was whiping pepperoni off my chin when he came running up.

Me: So, what happened?
Aaron: Everything.
Me: Holy cow, you touched her tits?
Aaron: No, everything.
Me: Oh my GOD! You went down her pants?
Aaron: No, I did EVERYTHING!
Me: She blew you?
Aaron: No, listen to me, Everything.
Me: What? NO! No Way!
Aaron: Yes.
Me: You jerk.

I then ran into a staircase and pouted. It was all jealously, but I turned it into a pouty fit. "How could you do this to me?", I asked.

I was jealous because AARON was not supposed to have sex before me. He had NEVER EVEN KISSED a girl before that day, and now he would have a first time story that came before mine. It would be another 3 years before I had a similar experience.....although mine took place in a bed the way it should be- at 3:00 am while the girl's parents were out of town.

Aaron now lives in Nashville, TN, and works at a sound engineering company assembling big recording boards.....AH YES, he is single too. He plays guitar, drinks whiskey, drives an El Camino, and is very nice. SO, if anyone knows any SINGLE cute, nice girl in her mid-to-late 20s who lives in Nashville, TN, then, by-all-means, send her email address along to me, and I'll make sure he writes her.

DAMN, another post about someone other than myself...Crap. And, again, I'm tired.

Oh well....the other foot in the pool.

[Buster]

Man, is it Fleet Week or what? Since I live on the west side, sailors and marines are everywhere. Which is a cool thing. I love how they ride in, drink, take pictures, show off their uni's, and strut around. Kind of like the Chinese and Irish building the trans-continental railroad. They would build through a town, drink and strut, and then ride away....

I want to have a drink with some sailors....or preferably a Marine. They're cooler, I think. I'm too intimidated to talk to them---and personally, I have a feeling that they might construe my sincere interest in them as mocking them, which would not be the case.

I'm especially interested in the life of a Marine, cause they go through the most shit. Boot camp is hell on a Marine. I know this because I watch all of the awesome documentries on the Discovery Channel. The latest one, which premiered a month ago, was called: THE MAKING OF A MARINE---and it was 3 hours long. I could watch it over and over again. And over. I should have taped it.

Anyway, I did laundry today. I love laundry day. It's like instant productivity. Even if I watch tv and eat Doritos the rest of the day, if someone asks what I did today, I can say, "Oh, I did laundry," and I don't sound like a complete lazy blob.

I'm not lazy at all however. I like to stay active and busy and always have projects. Improv is all I'm doing however at the moment, which is fine by me.

I dilly-dallied around NYC acting for 5 years before I found UCB. Now I'm happier than I've ever been here. Which is a good thing.

I was miserable for those 5 years until last September when I started taking classes. All I had was tv, and the friends I had were a bit boring and not really friends...

I don't know, I'm sure a lot of people have had a similar experience, so I want go into it too much.

HELL YES, my B.L.T. has just arrived...

Word.

[Buster]

Oh man, a four day weekend. Can you beat it? I seriously doubt you can.

I know a lot of people had to work today, but I didn't....which came in handy last night when I needed justification to stay out late at mcmanus'.....

I began my day with a bacon, egg, and cheese....and then got the urge to hit a museum. I get this impulse once a month, but usually puss out of it. Today I didn't. Again, instant productivity....

Around 1:00pm I decided to go to the Met. I prefer the Natural History museum over the Met, but I was just there in Feb., so really the decision was made for me.... I walked there, and since I insisted on jeans today, it was a bitch of a hike.

I like the musuem experience. My favorite thing to do is to find the rooms and exhibits way back in the corners that no one ever cares to visit,...then I have the art all to myself. Then I appreciate the shit out of it....because if I don't, who will? Like Victorian furniture. Middle Age Tapastries. African spirit canoes.....Seriously, just a quick breeze through the African spirit canoe room would mean so much....and believe me, your precious, little Monet's and Sazan's aren't going anywhere.

I walked around for about two hours. Saw everything. I mostly do a steady troll, almost never stopping to read or really appreciate one single piece. Except the Elizabethian rooms that are completely decorated...Louis VIII decor and such.... Holy crap, that was a terrible sentence. Should I let it stand? MMM....I'll decide later.

My weekend looks pretty stacked I think....

Tonight: Braves game at 7:30. Sheffield is day-to-day...he's always hurt it seems. Millwood is on the mound against a Cincinatti Reds team that gets Griffey back in the line-up tonight....although the Reds are one of those teams that the Braves always seem to own. Especially on the road....

Then I have a feeling I'll end up at the Swarm show.....unless there are extra innings...

Tomorrow at noon- my practice group's first coachless session. Should be fun. We may character-wheel----or something else...i'd rather not harold, but whatever. We'll decide tomorrow...

I'm going to make a sandwich....

[Buster]

Someone in the group arranged for us to get free space at the Chinatown YMCA every Saturday afternoon, starting today. We always meet on Weds night with a coach, but thought an extra practice with just the seven of us would be a good idea too...

As it turns out, you get what you pay for, since the Y apparently wasn't even opened this holiday weekend, so we all ended up hanging out outside of the locked gates for about 30 minutes deciding on what to do....finally we agreed on Italian food....so we walked over 3 blocks to Mulberry...attempting to cold initiate while we strutted....

We ate outside, went through 2 bottles of white wine, finished off three platters of food, and told each other what our parents did for a living. We ended up spending a total of 3 hours in the sun, and even though a canopy attempted to give some shade, I started feeling sunburnt on the subway ride home. Oh, and as I type right now, my forehead is throbbing with heat. Which doesn't bode well for either my well being or my plan to hit Flipside tonight....

I hate eating in the sun...unless it's a picnic.....or camping.....or a ballgame. Otherwise, sitting at a sidewalk table with 85 degree heat beaming down on my food and water glass is not appealing...

Sorry...

The Swarm show rocked last night....

Unfortunately I didn't reserve, and when I got there, the line was of course down the block.....I thus stood in the stand-by line for the first time EVER....worse yet, I was the first one in the stand-by line, which basically means I have a better view of all the people WITH reservations........

Oh, a random thought. G. G. Allin (http://www.antimtv.com/images1/gg1.gif) has come up in two separate conversations with friends in the past three days. For those who don't know, Allin was the frontman, for this punk band called the Scumfucks--- I think...I don't really remember...but they sucked musically, so Allin basically just became the headline side-show...His claim to fame is shitting on stage and rubbing it on himself....My knowledge of just exactly WHO G.G. Allin was is very limited, since I never really listened to him and only know him because I saw him at a skatepark in North Georgia in 1989 or 90. So, my simple answer of who Allin was is: Punk rocker who shit on himself every show and ODed after a show in 1991. I'm sure he was probably much more than that, and if there are any die-hard G.G. Allin fans who feel he deserves a better description than that, I'm sorry...that's all I can offer....

Anyway, there were 50 people in the audience. After about an hour of awful, awful punk rock, Allin drops the pants and shits. Then immediately, about 10 undercover cops burst on stage, arrest not only Allin and the band, but all of us minors who were let into the show....I was 15 I think.

I had to call my dad and have him pick me up 40 minutes away at the police station.

He was actually surprisingly calm and cool about the whole thing. He just thought I'd gotten busted sneaking into a show and never knew about the half-naked punk rocker shitting side of the story.

Come to think about it, I wasn't even punished.....I think since it involved neither drugs or alcohol it was a more palatable offense...

Man, my face is really burning right now....perhaps Aloe would be a good idea....

Word.....

[Buster]

My body is completely sore right now. And my holiday weekend is not yet over, seeing as how there's no way I can get out of a Birthday party late tonight. Ugh.

Since I got home from the Prospect Park Picnic- or as I call it, Triple P---wait, I'm lying....I'm yet to call it Triple P....

since I got home I've had 2 slices of pizza, 1 bottle of Gatorade, 2 waters, 2 aspirins, 1 shower, and 2 simpsons episodes...

I honestly should nap, but if I did, there's no way I'm making back out of this apartment tonight....

Picnic was fun. I didn't really eat or drink anything, except for a couple wimpy turkey dogs I brought, so there really wasn't much of any picnicking by me.....the football and kickball games were very time consuming... I needed to run some....and possibly attempt to try to catch or kick a ball while doing so....

My teams went 2 and 1 on the day. My first football team won 5-3, give or take a couple of pts.....and I had a touchdown catch so that's a plus. Chad Carter played me tight all day....so I didn't get too many chances to bust one long, but I contributed enough I feel.

The kickball game was a blast. For one, LESS RUNNING. And two, more people can get involved and play. Again, my team won....GO TIGERS.....I think the final score was 8-6. I wasn't really paying much attention....since by that point I had been running in the sun for close to four hours...

CRAP, I am really sore. And sunburnt.

Oh man, Nets game is ending. I became a Nets fan when I first moved to NY. Something about the knicks always turned me off. And I hate the Yankees and Mets too. And I hate the Giants....

Holy Shit, what a game. AND.......OVER- NETS WIN!!!!...by one. Cool.

They really did win while I was typing that, I'm not just being dramatic...although I do love drama.

Except NYPD Blue. That show is terrible.

[Buster]

Over the last 8 months I have watched my father's gradual improvement with sending email.

For the first 4 months all he would send to me is corny email greeting cards. An American Flag with "Love, Dad" on it.....or two bears fishing and again with "Love, Dad" on it....I'd get one a week.

And then he suddenly started sending one sentence emails that he'd actually written....stuff like,

Dear Buster,

How is NY? Things are same ol' down here.

Love ya,
Dad

And then I'd respond with about 4 paragraphs of my life...

And now, a complete 8 months since my dad bought a used computer from a friend, he's sending me these gems:

Dear Buster,

How is NY? Things are same ol' down here. The Braves have looked crappy as of late. Chipper needs to start going the other way.

Love ya,
Dad

That's a quality email from my dad, especially given the fact that before he bought the computer, it had probably been 15 to 20 years since he'd sat down in front of a computer. He was terrified of typing and/or formulating thoughts onto the screen.....plus, if you aren't a typer and don't really know how to type and/or don't enjoy typing, then you probably suck at typing, and therefore are really intimidated by the whole typing process.

Man, come to think of it, my dad hasn't been in an airplane in over 15 years as well. He'd always rather drive.

While I was in college in Ohio, about nine hours north of Chattanooga, my dad drove the trip almost 12 or 13 times in the four year period I was in school....he never missed a play or show I was in....he always stayed at the same Best Western, and took me to Applebee’s after the show on Saturday night. My mom and my step-dad, who would always fly, would meet me for drinks at a bar after my dad went back to the motel, then on Sunday would feed me breakfast and hit Wal-Mart with me before they flew back.

My dad would wake up at 4:00am that Sunday and be back in Tennessee by noon. Oh, and he traveled with a little mini-tv/vcr, powered by the cigarette lighter, so he would watch 3 or 4 movies per trip. MASH and Caddyshack are his favorites....

My dad has worked for and co-owned a Masonry Company since the day he graduated high school. His adopted father started it, and my dad co-ran it with 2 of his adopted brothers, Chuck and Duran. My dad was in an orphanage until his junior year of highschool, when his best friend's family adopted him. They already had 3 boys and 1 girl, but apparently just really liked my dad, and were generous enough people to take him in.

Growing up I would see that side of the family about 4 times a year. They all lived about 30 to 45 minutes north of Chattanooga in the "country". I resist the urge to call them rednecks- they are more "middle-class country"....sure they drive pick-ups, but they’re $45,000 trucks.

they're all Baptist too....if that means anything.

Now a days, I only see my dad's family, all 60 of them, every Christmas.....I am introduced to all the new husbands and wives of my cousins, and I make the rounds telling my quick "New York" news to my aunts and uncles, and then me and my brother go hide downstairs in the TV room and watch basketball. My brother, who has more in common with any of them, simply because he lives in Knoxville and still talks like them (accent wise), is just as nervous and uneasy talking to all of them as I am. It's like we're family, but not really.

I get the same presents every year:

Duran’s family gives me a pocket knife (which I can’t ever fly back to NY with)
Uncle Jamie gives me a Vols sweatshirt
Uncle Chuck’s family gives me socks
Aunt Sherri’s family gives me a $10.00 gift certificate to Krystals (southern fastfood chain with White Castle like burgers),
…and my grandmother gives me $25 bucks cash.

I always feel really guilty by that $25. I mean, I only see her once a year, so it's like I'm just there to pick up my payment....whatever, her giving me money is the protocol I suppose. But she gives all of us grandkids the same amount. I get the same $25 bucks that my cousin Luke gets, and he sees her once a week. Oh well, not my fault….

ANYWAY, the whole point of this.....well, perhaps it's a point, I'm not sure---IS that I received a package last week from my Uncle Chuck. He's about 5'6'', 49 years old, owns his own Baptist church, still co-runs the Masonry business with my dad, and 3 years ago his oldest daughter had a baby her senior year in highschool...

In the package were 2 bluegrass CDs and a note saying:

Dear Buster,

How is NY treating you? I heard you liked Bluegrass music, so I've sent you two good ones. The Braves need to start hitting, and is it me or is Sheffield always knicked up?

Love,
Uncle Chuck
God Bless

I'm not sure who told him I liked bluegrass music, but whatever, they are two pretty good CD’s...although I'm afraid they may never get played....unless I get in a very bluegrassy mood, or perhaps take a roadtrip this summer and make a "going to the country" mix tape, which I most surely will not do....

[Buster]

I shouldn't have written any of that G.G. Allin shit....I wasn't prepared for the four separate emails I received in reply to my story...Don't get me wrong, they were all fine emails, I'm not dissing the emails here, I just feel I deserve those 10 minutes it took to read them BACK. Oh well, it doesn't matter....

Four people sent me their own G.G. Allin experience. They all included one thing: Him Shitting. Which is good, because that's really the only thing I know about him.

My favorite of the four emails is from ADA, who relays her experience at G.G.'s last show ever, at The Gas Station, and then the follies in the street after the show:

We arrived at the gas Station. We sat in the dirt waiting in what was essentially a lot on the LES with piles of metal rubbish and eager punk rockers, the crème de la crème. I stared at the guy who sat across from me's* hair, shaved into black and white fins until he looked at me, and offered his sage wisdom, a chilling forecast for the agony we were about to endure. He looked me dead in the eye and asked, "You ever see GG before?" No. "Well get ready." Then he laughed. How ominous.

Surely GG was no big deal. I was tough, I thought. I may have grown up on strong island but- Then Dino came in. Dino. Famous for his naked drumming and overly intent love of the Lunachicks, Dino. He looked rough. I made eye contact with him and was sure he would kill me. He didn't. The Murder Junkies streamed in and then came GG. We all followed him into the room with the equipment. There wasn't much of a ritual to the set. He was wearing his leather vest and a pair of panties, maybe a pair of glasses. The band started. I listened in the back, only glimpsing him occasionally through the people I had fortressed myself behind. As they were playing their second and final song, "Look into my eyes and Hate Me." I smelled it. These minutes are a blur. Squeaker who had bravely ventured up ahead of me was now standing behind me. Another one of my friends who had unsuccessfully tried to drag me up to the front of the crowd was standing at the stage. Apparently some poor girl tried to snap a picture and got a fist full of feces in her face. This I will never be sure of. Everyone has a different story. Maybe because the only people in the front row saw black or went crazy. But this is my version:

We all ran, in every direction, to get out of there. This mom had her two little girls with her. They were both wearing these dirty little white sundresses and were crying and scared. They got out before me. Once I was out of there I stood across the street listening to what was going on inside. GG was trashing the place, in good form. Those who had stayed behind to bear witness trickled out in varying degrees of cowardice. Then came GG. If he ran in one direction we ran faster to get away. He was a punkrockhellhound and we loved it! How he got hold of an American flag I don't know and why a tour bus was touring around down there I can only guess but I won't. Anyway GG passed some time waving a flag in front of a bus, now wearing only his panties and we watched, cheering. It seemed that we were out of the clear. He didn't want to destroy us now but exorcise some sort of patriotism. He disappeared into a building and we waited for him. When he came back outside he was clad in a ridiculous gender-ambiguous outfit. I think he added his leather miniskirt. Apparently he dressed in hopes of catching a cab incognito and not getting caught for clearly breaking parole. We followed him on the circuitous route to East Houston with him occasionally turning around and waving us off, beseeching us all to leave him alone. It struck me as girly and cute. What an enigma, that GG. Finally this beming punk rocker caught him a cab, undoubtedly creating his most rosy memory and off GG went into the evening. GG died that night in an unfortunately rock and roll way, but that's my story and I'll stick to it thank you.

Holy cow. I shouldn't have posted that....I really don't care enough to justify doing so, but oh well, I can't go back now...

I thought red would be a good color for it, I may change that later, we'll see.

Uh oh, Simpsons are on. Fox has started showing Season 11 and 12 reruns, so that's a plus.

Oh, and this is the last entry EVER that will mention G.G. Allin. I promise.

[Buster]

If you can afford to do so, working PART-TIME only, is the way to go.

I can't really afford to do it, BUT, I'm being forced to do so for a couple of months.....which in the short-term, is fine. 3 days a week still isn't bad.

Yesterday I woke up early and went shopping. On the agenda was new sneakers, some shorts, and new t-shirts for the summer....

I hit Macy's for a 3 pack of Jockey plain white Tees....

Then Old Navy for some polo shirts (2 for $20), and a pair of shorts that are way too big and baggy....I may return them, not sure.

Then Foot Locker for a new pair of Sneaks....NB's 704

Then I took the train down to the East Village to do my Thrift store walk.....I prefer thrift over vintage....vintage stores are such a fucking rip-off -they piss me off.....20 bucks for a Budweiser Tee, F U!!!!

I then walked up 1st ave from Houston to 14th Street. Then walked across 14th to 8th, before walking up 8th all the way home (in the 50s).....

After my initial spending spree of 20 minutes in the 34th Street area....I didn't buy another thing...so in hindsight, I should have just gone straight home....BUT NO....I had to walk around for 2 hours carrying a shitload of bags....

OH WELL....it was a quality day off.

Today, however, back at work, in my new pair of shoes and polo shirt. My only other co-worker here at the casting agency is my crazy boss, but she's yet to say anything about my new clothes....Maybe I'll bring them up in conversation to provoke a compliment....I'm not above that, I'm seriously not.

Today's a weird day. We're casting 10 different films at the moment, and at times I can't keep all of them separate. They all shoot mid-July/August, all with similar characters it seems, so I make a lot of mistakes when talking to agents/manager/actors. Oh well....not my fault....is it?

Jay Mohr came aboard one film this morning, so that's good news....him and Ron Livingston are now set in the lead roles....now we have to cast their sexy girlfriends.....

I keep suggesting Christina Ricci, but my boss says she's not right and way too young.

Come to think about it, I push Christina for every film we cast....

Except the bad ones.

Our group has practice tonight....should be fun. Unless it's not fun, in which case, I'm sure it will be fun next week....

WORD

[Buster]

I was bummed all day, but when I got home, I had 2 pieces of quality mail waiting for me.

ENVELOPE #1- A Railroad Engineering hat I need for some material I'm writing....well, it's written but I'm not sure what to do with it yet. I thought buying a prop would push me to decide. Which I think I have....but can't articulate quite yet. Maybe tomorrow.

ENVELOPE #2- My 2002 ESPN Fantasy Basketball Champion T-Shirt....the annual prize for winning a 10 team league. I've won a T-Shirt every year for the last 6 years....and they'd been running out of cool colors of T-Shirt, so it's exciting to see what its going to be this year. Last year was red. This year.....GRAY. It's an ok shirt....

Practice was solid Wednesday.

My entire Thursday was solid.

Today was not-so solid, but tonight could get better. Especially if I make it to The Swarm...or even if I just stay home and make a sandwich. And watch the Braves game.

Interleague play is starting. For what that's worth.

WORD.

[Buster]

My day today does not merit a journal entry AT ALL....but I'm forced to vent right now, so here it goes....

My tiny studio apartment is currently being bombarded by a 20 minute jam of "SOUL MAN", blaring from the warehouse that is only 200 feet across the alley behind me. I honestly didn't know there was loft space there available for parties/bands..., but that's not the point right now...

The point is I hate "Soul Man"....I truly do hate that song....it creeps me out.

OK, I'm not kidding, it's been going on for over TWENTY F-in minutes....full band and everything. Horns, pianos, back-up singers....what is going on????

Oh, and I can tell it's a weird jam cause for about 5 minutes they decided to sing whatever chorus they wanted.....

Instead of: "I'm a soul man",

They sang the chorus as: "Rainbows and Sunshine"......

How annoying is that? And not just for me, but for whatever partygoers are being forced to sit through such crappy, crappy music.

Holy cow it's loud.

Ok, wait, I think we hit a BREAKTHROUGH....

YUP, the Soul Man/Rainbow and Sunshine jam has just about ended....and, BIG FINISH....loud crash cymbal, and they're DONE...

15 seconds of silence, and what's next?

MMM....I don't know what this is...but it's definitely not inaudible, which is really the only kind of song that would make me happy right now.

what is this? It sounds like a more sped-up, full band version of Ray Charles' "Georgia".....

Yup, that's what it is.....great.....

well, my night was just decided for me. I was thinking about just staying in....but I guess I'll get out now....all by my lonesome...

Maybe I should go out anyway. I spent the entire day doing laundry and then spring/summer cleaning my entire apartment. Moving shelves and sweeping behind them....oh, and I swept behind my oven and bed....and dresser.....come to think about it, I did a lot of sweeping today....oh, I sprayed FANTASTIC on everything too...so that's a plus.

This is currently a 10 minute jam of "Georgia"...with no funny lyrics though....they're staying pure this time.

I bet you they only know 4 songs, but just jams those songs out so long that they make up a nice hour and a half set......

Did I say "nice"?....I meant intrusive....and annoying.

[Buster]

Today I received another surprise package from my Uncle Chuck. In it were TWO MORE BLUEGRASS cds, including my SECOND Ricky Skaggs' album...

This time it was Ricky Skaggs' "History of the Future".....which is a pretty boring title for the bluegrass industry's most prolific star....

http://gs.cdnow.com/graphics/COVERART/local/L/97/46/00449746.jpg

I mean "History of the Future"...what the hell does that mean, Ricky? Seriously, do you know? If you know, and I'm just not getting it, tell me.

I mean I understand the whole "how can you have a history of something that hasn't occurred yet" logic of the statement, and I appreciate you reminding everyone that indeed, you can not have a written or oral history of events that take place in the future.....

that's all well and good....

What I'm confused about, and again, I'm sorry for my slowness, is what does your title have to do with bluegrass? I mean whatever happened to using the old staples.....classic bluegrass words such as: valley and sawmill and hollar and blueberry and midnight train......

When I'm looking for that perfect bluegrass cd to purchase, I look for those types of “bluegrass signal" words.....

For instance, I would purchase any of the following albums:

Sawmill Jubilee
Little Mountain Get Down
In the Valley of Fiddle
Midnight Train Jubilee
Sweet River Wine
and even The Smokey River Jubilee Get Down

but I would never purchase a bluegrass album entitled, "History of the Future"....

Again, I'm sorry...but according to the latest sales figures in Bluegrass Monthly, the majority of America agrees with me on this...

Even, "History of the Sawmill", or "Jubilee of the Future" would be better....

But whatever, it's your record sales...

I thank my Uncle Chuck, for again sending me those cds. Thanks for thinking about me....although, I still have no idea who told you I liked bluegrass music. It was probably my dad, but he was lying. I swear to you my dad has no idea what type of music I listen to....

Actually my dad probably wasn't even prepared for the question. Perhaps he was forced into answering the way he did....something like:

Chuck: Hey Jerry.
Dad: Hey Chuck. What were you up to this weekend?
Chuck: Oh, I headed over to Nashville to see Ricky Skaggs in concert.
Dad: That sounds fun. Who'd you go with?
Chuck: Charlene and them. Got to go backstage. And I got Ricky's autograph.
Dad: That sounds al'right. I golfed on up there past Clarksville. Near the ridge.
Chuck: How'd you shoot?
Dad: 74.
Chuck: Not bad. Hey, you think Buster would enjoy some cds I got. The band gave me a box-full of cds, so I could send a couple to Buster if you'd think he'd listen to them.
Dad: I think he would, yes.
Chuck: Ok, I'll do that.

See, perhaps my dad had no choice but to say I like bluegrass...

And, I don't mean to sound petty or even, spoiled. It's not that I don't appreciate an Uncle or an Aunt taking the time and effort and postage to send me a "thoughtful" surprise package. Whether it includes a ballcap, a t-shirt from Target, a book about "Living Right", or even a couple of bluegrass cds....I enjoy and appreciate the gift. Thank you.

I just want to nip this in the bud right now though.

So….uhm, Uncle Chuck, for the record, I am not a big fan of bluegrass, so again, thanks for these four, but now I have enough. No more.

I just don't want to let this perpetuate into chaos. Where you are constantly going to bluegrass concerts and getting free cds that you send to me....and then every Christmas you get me more cds, and then we have to spend our short holiday time together talking music which will only cut into my one hour I get each year with my grandmother. And then, after Christmas dinner, I have to go out to your truck to listen to a Nitty Gritty Dirt Band bootleg you just got…..NO!

Let this be the end.

After I am done with this entry I will write you a simple, yet funny and thoughtful thank-you note. I will mail it tomorrow.

Then we will never speak of bluegrass again. And this Christmas, at Grandma's house, you will get me what your family gets me every year....an oversized UT VOLS sweatshirt. And I will say, “thanks Uncle Chuck”.....

and then I'll wink.....no wait...I won't wink. Forget the wink....Yeah......

[Buster]

Man, another day off.....and again, I spend my day off doing laundry. I do laundry now twice a week it seems, but I guess that's what I deserve until I break down and spend $$$ on more pairs of jeans. I had been living on just two pair of jeans for months, until I pulled a couple of pair of raggedy and ripped and busted jeans that I had retired last year out of the closet.

Now I have 4 pairs of jeans in my rotation. 2 nice and 2 not-so-nice.

Going into the summer however, my supply of shorts is dangerously low. Oh, crap, and I don't really own a proper bathing suit, so if anyone invites me to a water park or a lake or even a creek this summer, I'm going to have to make do with a crappy pair of umbros. Is that cool?

I'm going to say......yes...it is cool...just to make myself feel better.

OH....and I washed my comforter for the first time in a while today. It's a tired ol' thing, that I've now used to wrap my sleeping body in for over 10 years now. And before that it covered the bed of my parents from 1985 to 1990 when they divorced. Wait...1990, I've used it for 12 years.

MMM.....the comforter that my parents were using right before they divorced. That's the first time I thought about that.....mmm....that needs processing.

Wait, actually my dad slept on the couch for three years before they actually divorced, so it's not really "the divorce comforter", and since my mom was the only person to sleep under it from 1987 to 1990, it's more of the "the lonely mother comforter"...which I can deal with.

I know I should wash it more than I do, but it's so old and frayed, that it's really dangerous to wash. All of the outside stitching as come out, so the inside stuffing doesn't stay flat. Instead the stuffing is free to go wherever it wants inside the fabric, so it usually ends up all on the bottom or all on the top.....

I should get a new one, but I don't like hard, new comforters...

I'm a bitch.

OK, it's almost 1....I have the whole day ahead of me to do something before Harold night tonight....will I use the time wisely? or will I end up falling asleep while watching the Food Network.

I think we all know the answer to that question....especially since Ultimate Kitchens is on. That's a good show. (http://www.foodtv.com/foodtv/show/0,6525,KI,00.html)

Word.

[Buster]

John Smoltz is the coolest player in all of baseball.

http://atlanta.braves.mlb.com/atl/photo/ph_play_mugshot_122477.jpg

That statement is undeniable true.

You know it. I know it. Paul Konerko knows it....everyone knows it.

After 10 unbelievable years as a starting pitcher, that included both World Championship and Cy Young trophies, Smoltzey was forced into the role of the Braves' closer in 2001. This was a year ago, his first season back after sitting out 1 and half due to tearing his arm out. He had rehabbed and worked hard to getting back to starting condition, but in his first 7 starts last year, it was obvious that he wasn't the same.

This was around the same time that John Rocker was struggling as the team's regular closer, so a switch was made. Rocker was sent to the Indians in exchange for Steve Karsey and Steve Reed. And Smoltz was handed the closer job...a job he more than excelled in. He went 10 for 11 in save opportunities, and more importantly got the juice to his fastball back.

Tonight, the Braves beat the Boston Red Sox for the second night in a row, maintaining their lead in the East at 6 1/2 games. And they've won 22 out of their last 28. And Smoltz just recorded his 22nd save of the year.

But enough exposition; Back to Smoltz being cool.

I recently read in a magazine that, at this current time, all of the following players could be considered cooler than John Smoltz:

Adam Dunn
http://cincinnati.reds.mlb.com/cin/photo/ph_play_mugshot_276055.jpg

Junior Spivey
http://arizona.diamondbacks.mlb.com/ari/photo/ph_play_mugshot_150160.jpg

or even Brent Abernathy
http://tampabay.devilrays.mlb.com/tb/photo/ph_play_mugshot_150466.jpg

But it is my belief that the above mentioned magazine would be wrong. Dead wrong....no dead sounds way too harsh....just wrong.

Perhaps the only player who could even come close to rivaling Smoltz as the game's coolest player would be the Marlin's Mike Lowell
http://florida.marlins.mlb.com/fla/photo/ph_play_mugshot_136780.jpg

Although I stress come close.....even Lowell-boy, as good as he is, and as sideways as that pose is, he simply can not match Smoltz's pure firepower and his extra cool points he receives simply for longevity.

Man, I think I’ve made my point. Sorry for that.

[Buster]

The following is a list of places I have never been to:

Los Angeles, Portland, Seattle, San Diego, Chicago, Orlando (yes, I've never been to Disneyworld), Miami, Washington DC, Denver, San Antonio, Sacramento, Detroit, Tampa Bay, Albany, New Orleans, Kansas City, Boise, Spokane, Reno, Salt Lake, Albuquerque, Jacksonville, Minneapolis, Milwaukee, Des Moines, Oklahoma City, Indianapolis, Cheyenne, Lincoln, Fargo, Tulsa, Canada, United Kingdom, Norway, Spain, Japan, Mexico, South America, Africa, Asia, Greece, Russia, Austria.....

wait, this is pointless.....

I should have started with places I have been to:

Chattanooga, Atlanta, Nashville, Memphis, Knoxville, Lexington,
Cincinatti, Columbus, Cleveland, Panama City, Savannah, Charlotte, Ashville, Ann Arbor, Tallahassee, Birmingham, Dallas, Houston, Galveston, Phoenix, San Fransico, Las Vegas, Pittsburgh, Baltimore, Philadelphia, New York City, Buffalo, Boston, and Paris.

By the way, I hate travelling.....but I love vacations.....I've been planning a cross-country road trip for the past year (which sounds like too much planning)...but who knows if I'll ever really follow through with it....i want to go for 2 1/2 weeks, but don't want to go alone, and don't know who would go with me....oh well....

[Buster]

First off, the Braves have been sporting cool-ass "vintage" uniforms for the last two weeks....
http://www.accessatlanta.com/ajc/sports/braves/0702/images/brhed0729opt.jpg

How neat is that? I personally think, very neat.

By the way, I just came to the conclusion today that I have no "weird" named friend, whether by birth name or nickname, that I can use at the start of a not-so good story to make it better.

Like I have a story about how, my Senior year High School, me and my friend Matt drove 8 hours to prospectively "check out" The University of Memphis. That's pretty much all of the story. We didn't do much...hung out at the hotel, saw a crappy rock band...

And, nothing against Matt, but if only I could have been lucky enough to have gone to Memphis with my friend Turbo, or Flip, or Dingman...alot more of my friends right now would know about that trip...

Oh man, if only I'd gone with Jackpot, Paddle, Jetball, Spliff-dog, Hangman, X-Ray, or B Cup.

Hell, if I had a friend named B Cup I could hypnotize anyone into listening to any story. Like one about the time me and B Cup had a glass of tea together. Or the time we took a nap. Or the time B Cup killed another man.....

Oh well....I never had those friends, so unfortunately when I introduce Matt to other friends, they never respond with, "Oh, yeah, I've heard so much about you"....I'm sure Matt's feelings get hurt but what can I do?

No one wants to hear my stories about Matt, or Mike, or Paul...

And definitely not ones including my friends, Chris, Curt, Mark, Bill, and of course John. God Bless him....sorry, friend.

[Buster]

News from my dayjob:

We auditioned This GUY (http://image.gist.com/tvclubs/gallery/images/beverly10_hr.jpg)

today for a role of a Prep-School Professor.----the cool, charismatic teacher that all the students at the school talk and relate with.

It was a good audition, although, I don't think it will go any further for him.

By the way, his hair was bleached bright blonde, and he was wearing acid-washed jeans that showed off his ass....

Man, this is a crappy entry....although it waste's a good couple of minutes from my day, so I'm going to let it stand....

[Buster]

Ninth Avenue Food Fair TIME!

Ninth Avenue Food Fair Time! Oh man, this is my favorite NY weekend every year....(except for the DCM)....

Saturday.

11:00 am- Cup of Coffee from Deli. Hit the OTB, win a $2 show bet in race 2 at Plimico.

11:30 am- Walk down to 50th street. Buy a $3 bag of crappy Zeppolis.

11:45 am- Find out I lose my race 3 bet. So I grab a $3 Mozzerepa and come home.

Stay tuned...much more 9th Avenue Food Fair fun on the way!

[Buster]

OK, it's now 5:00 pm, and I just got back from my second 9th Ave Food Fair outing.

It is insane how great it is outside, and how excited I get for Food Fair weekend.

SO,

2:00 pm- made my Preakness bets. I did about 11 $1 superfectas...mostly involving Peace Rules and Funny Cide.

2:30-4:30- $5 Harp Pint at McCoys. $5 Jambalya from Delta Grill (split with a friend). $1 Spring Rolls (split with a friend). $1.50 Coors Tall Boy (from a deli). $2 Tamale (split with a friend). A Couple of free Harp's from McCoys. $4 Corn Dog.

Now I'm home...with a buzz....waiting for the big Race.

Oh man...

OH...and I saw BEN, the fat kid from MTV's True Life I'm Going To Fat Camp documentary. I went up to him and said "Hey Ben", and he said "hey" back. Then I watched him buy a funny looking hat.